Sunday, February 27, 2011


Boy is it ever messy (the understatement of the year, ladies and gents!)
People are hurting and experiencing more pain and tragedy than I want to think about.
Once, again my spirit feels tired. I cannot begin to comprehend the pain of some, yet I still feel the ache in my soul. Oh, Lord, when will you "make all things new"?

 This morning Sean spoke about fear. He said giving into it is like "trusting in the enemy". Legitimizing his threats. But Satan will have no final victory. Christ has won the war.
Mr.Durfee recently pointed out that God is not bound by time. Time is His Creation. What, to us, will happen in the future to Him simply is. He will have the victory. He has defeated sin and death and will make all things new. He will restore His creation. He will come for His bride. Soon, all pain will be gone.
In the meantime He wants us to draw closer to Him. Nothing He does is without purpose. If we were to understand all His ways, He would cease to be God. I don't want to put my trust in anyone else. No, i don't understand what He does, but I know enough to know He is the only answer. To look anywhere else for answeres is futile. Even in my realtively few years of life, I have seen enough to know that. Does that mean I won't do stupid things or constantly struggle with wanting my own way instead of His? No. I want only to try to stay close to Him. Even that, will be through His grace alone.He is the Hope of my soul. In Him I have the strength to love. The motivation to forgive.

"I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain. Come quickly and abide, or life is vain"

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Great Romance


What comes to mind when you see that word? For me, it's a giant silk heart that contains chocolate candy, such as you might receive on Valentine's Day. (Random, I know, but that is me =)

Speaking of Valentine's Day...I always used to hate it. I hated seeing people acting "stupid" over their current girlfriend or boyfriend and saying things they retract a few weeks later or going way too far with their emotions or spending way too much money (yes, I am a little "tight"). So now that everyone is feeling all toasty warm inside...That was cynical, I know and I probably wouldn't feel that way if I was "in a relationship". I just have a problem with giving too much of yourself to someone else. Mainly because I'm an insecure person (But more about that in another post =)

I said I USED to hate it. By God's grace my viewpoint is different. This year I saw the beauty in it, because it reminded me of something very important.

As so often happens, God really got my attention through a  book, songs and conversations.

From the beginning, Creation chose to doubt God's wisdom and do what they thought would fulfill them. The snake brought into question the very nature of the Father when he tempted Adam and Eve. Isn't that still the struggle? We are given a choice. (Because love isn't love without choice.) What God says, or our desires? So often choose to ignore the very relationship that will bring lasting joy. We were created to have intimate fellowship with our Creator. But our hearts are torn between what we were meant to be and what we think will fulfill us. The beauty of The Great Romance is that Christ is always "pursuing" our hearts. He possesses a passionate love for us. He is a jealous God and will do anything to have our complete and unadulterated devotion.

Yet we have done nothing to deserve such an unyielding, forgiving love. Like Gomer (in the book of Hosea) in the Bible, we run from His arms to those of other lovers, refusing to acknowledge the gift  that is ours. But still He pursues. Still, he rescues. Still He lavishes love, forgiveness and healing upon us. Incredible.

 Human relationships are supposed to be a picture of his pursuit. His forgiveness. His relentless love. Yet, we fall so short. Still, there is hope because out of the glorious love we have been given by Him, we find the strength to forgive. The motivation to love selflessly. We love because we are loved.

 To me human romance is beautiful (or has the potential to be so) simply because the idea of it is straight from God's heart. Though we screw it up royally, it is a beautiful, tangible expression of the love we have received from the Father.
Simple, yes, but it was a revelation to me.

So(though it's a little late for this), Happy Valentine's Day.  =)

Monday, February 21, 2011

Stop, and play

mmmm....This weather makes me come me a little over-eager for Spring but 60s and sunny in February gives one a little hope for an early Spring.

The writing class I am taking has centered around a trilogy of books that contain a lot of Christian symbolism (Ted Dekker, anyone?) Our assignments are to think (deeply) and to write. In the stories there is a Creator (Elyon) who represents God and His creation which represent us. In the stories Elyon turns the world upside down on his creation for a day (The sky is the ground, the trees are above their heads, etc.).The creatures  tell the stranger in their midst (who wonders what the heck has happened) that Elyon  is merely "playing" with them. They delight in His creativity and simply enjoy his "games".

The thought of God "playing" with His creation was a new one to me. Certainly he lovingly guides, protects, and always acts with purpose. But does he "play"? hmmmm....

Beautiful sunny days when the air smells of promise and pleasure. Those "What? I thought I was the only one?" moments (of which Lewis speaks) with a friend. A hug or a smile that seems straight from the arms of Christ. The moment when your heart once again realizes the incredible hope which is His love and all you can do is weep. Yes. He plays. He loves. Though His creation is marred by sin He gives us glimpses of beauty and pleasure and his infinite creativity.

Maybe this seems naive and overly simplified. However, for a person like me who cannot sit still, and tends to be a little too analytical, the concept of God as the Divine Artist who delights in the reactions of His creation at His creativity was a much needed Revelation (yes, that was a run-on sentence=). You can give yourself all the "pep talks", sermons, etc. in the world but they're not going to make a bit of difference in your life if you don't "feel" loved by someone. When God sends a beautiful day or a caring person into your life it is like a "hug" from Him.

So that's my thought for the day.

Now, excuse me while I go enjoy the sunshine =)

Sunday, February 20, 2011


So. Here it is. My blog. I've been unsuccessful at starting and continuing with one before now. Perhaps they are one their way "out" of popularity (I sincerely hope not). One would think it was a monumental task to create one of these and do a daily (or so) entry into it. However, for a perfectionist such as myself it requires brainpower and sometimes, I'm just plain lazy. I do, however, want to have a place to express my often tumultuous thoughts, and, for what it's worth, my opinions on, and revelations about life in general (terrible sentence structure, I know). Granted, I've not lived long enough to have any observations truly earth- shattering and perhaps I am narcissistic to assume others would want to read my musings. I do, however think it is a good thing to express one's  thoughts through "journaling" (and online journaling :) and the skill of thinking through a given matter and "saying the thing we mean to say" (Thanks, Mr. Durfee ;) is sadly lacking these days. Often, I am the worst offender. Perhaps this will help me. If no one else ever reads or gleans a single thing from this, it will not be in vain because it is a sort of "therapy" for me. Please excuse the imperfect grammar, sentence structure, venting, raging, melancholia, over-excitement and anything else which might offend or annoy =)
    I drew inspiration for the title of this blog from one of my favorite bible verses. Since I enjoy running (perhaps it would be better termed "jogging"?) i understand the concept of "endurance" a little....

"... let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us." Hebrews 12 :1

My primary goal for my life is to grow closer to my Savior and in turn "be love" to others. That means whatever I do, whatever he has planned for me, I give love to others without agenda,serve without promise of reward and point them only to Christ and His love. Wears me out just thinking of it. However, it cannot be in my own power. Christ  will have to be the "oxygen" to my spiritual "muscles" (pardon the "cheesiness") if I am to posses any sort of endurance.

this blog will serve primarily to (hopefully) sort out the muddle mess which is my brain. If someone gets something out of it, wonderful! If's all good....

I'm tired as I write this, so I don't even know if any of the above made sense. Oh well. Take it for what it's worth...

So ends my disclaimer. G'night, ya'll =)